


Bete Noir

by Macx



Series: Darkness Unleashed [19]
Category: Yami No Matsuei
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-11
Updated: 2011-05-11
Packaged: 2017-10-19 06:59:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macx/pseuds/Macx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sequel to Pivotal. Using the weakened barriers between the realms, a devil manages to infiltrate GensouKai to assassinate a specific target. And his weapon, as well as disguise, is Byakko... PLEASE read the disclaimer inside!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bete Noir

Bête Noire  
by Macx and Lara Bee

 

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS: DO NOT SKIP: this story deals with sensitive topics, above others implied rape and constant sexual abuse of a child. It is dark, and I mean DARK. There may be readers among us who know more than they'd ever wanted to know about this topic – this story contains TRIGGER MATERIAL.

NOTE: "Bête noire” translated means "Black Beast”, but it also stands for "Nightmare”.

RATING: Seriously NC17!!!

 

It was summer in GensouKai. The explosion of flowers and blooming trees was reaching its peak, the sun was out almost every day, the clouds were sparse, and there were a lot of very warm days and barely cooler nights. For those shikigami who liked the heat of summer, it was the perfect time. For those who preferred cooler temperatures, it was a matter of staying in the shade and not wandering about too much.

Touda was a fire serpent and for him, heat was nothing. He enjoyed it, he spent hours dozing on the palace roof, and he tried to stay out of the daily politics. Sohryu called on him of course, but since Touda wasn't his first general any more and had no intentions to become one again, he wasn't required to be on duty all the time. It didn't mean he was slacking either. The hell serpent had simply found a nice balance between work and sunbathing.

Right now he wasn't on the roof but in the expansive garden, enjoying not only the sun but also the very welcome company of his lover and partner. Byakko, being a cat shikigami, liked heat, too. The area where they were resting was very private and only a few servants would even think of bothering the two men here. It was one of the reasons why Touda had divested himself of his clothes, except for the bare necessities, just in case, and was watching his equally mostly naked lover sunbathe.

Half-closed red eyes smiled lazily at him and a black and white striped tail twitched. Byakko was very relaxed, his tanned skin smelling of the sun, all muscles warm and pliant and so very, very nice to run a hand over. Which Touda did.

It got him a purr.

Byakko turned on his back and Touda took the unspoken offer to continue the caress over his stomach. The tiger stretched, showing off his sinewy form, and Touda straddled him, leaning over the warm body.

"Enjoying yourself?" he murmured.

Fingers buried in his by now longish hair and carded through it. "Very."

 

Byakko stopped in mid-caress when he heard the Summoning. Golden eyes flashed at him as his lover stroked over his cheek once, then slid smoothly off him. Touda had heard it, too. He was bonded to Tsuzuki and he would feel the echoes of whatever was going on. But since it wasn't him who had been Summoned he had no right to intervene.

"Come back in one piece,” Touda muttered, stepping back to give the young man room to follow the call.

When Summoned, shikigami appeared in the world of the living in their fighting form which in Byakko's case meant, a white tiger. A huge white tiger.

"Of course," Byakko answered, then initiated the transdimensional jump.

Right into a battle.

Right into the middle of things.

And right into action.

° ° °

The fight had been ugly and nasty, his opponent being a devil with immense powers. But Byakko had defeated the bastard. Tsuzuki had been proud. Disheveled, slightly bruised, but proud. He had radiated his emotions quite openly, hugging his fighting companion after things had been over.

Byakko had returned to his home realm.

Once again, it was over and no harm done.

Or so they thought.

° ° °

It had been easier than he had thought. So much easier. Entering the world of the living had been child's play. Devils and demons went and came as they wanted to. Finding a shinigami, the right shinigami, had been a bit more difficult. He couldn't just choose one by default. He had to find one with the right shikigami, and there was only one who had the most powerful at his command.

So the devil had roamed until he had been made by the Shokan Division, and Tsuzuki Asato had been sent after him.

He was working with a time window. He needed to fulfill his mission within a specific time frame, he had been told by the one who had come up with this plan.

Find the shinigami, possess his shikigami, enter GensouKai under the radar. The devil wasn't clear how he could go in undetected by the likes of Enma-Daiou, but he had been reassured again and again that it was possible.

But only now.

Only in these few days while GensouKai recovered from the almost fatal blow it had suffered. The realm was weak, as were the other realms, but only GensouKai mattered at the moment.

Possess a shikigami.

Get in.

Take out his target.

And his mysterious benefactor would be pleased.

The devil didn't think about the why. He had a dislike of shikigami, so killing one, using another to do it, was easy. Of course he had heard the rumors that with the destabilization of one realm, the others might suffer, too, but as long as he circumvented killing one specific shikigami, things would become balanced pretty soon.

The fight had been hard, he had taken a few blows by the white tiger, but he had managed the impossible in the end: he had possessed him. Without the shinigami seeing or feeling it. There had been a delicate moment when the shinigami had hugged his shikigami, but then things had gone smoothly.

And now for the plan...

° ° °

The gate between the worlds spit out a disheveled and roughed up white tiger. The feline was spewed ungraciously to the ground, landing hard and tumbling over several times with the force of the transfer, turning into a white haired young man at last.

Byakko coughed, wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth and tried his best to scramble to his feet, but only managed to get onto his knees. He moaned.

"Get the hell out of me, you bastard,” he whispered roughly, fighting down the mixture of anger and pain and horror.

|And why should I do that?|

"Because I say so. Leave me alone!”

|No can do, kitty|

"I won't surrender to you!”

|You will|

The voice was in his head, in his mind, blocking out everything else with its coldness and venom, seeping into him, poisoning his thoughts, his feelings...

Byakko clenched his jaw in the desperate attempt to get up, but the devil wouldn't let him move. The mere presence of the hellish being that had invaded his body and his mind during the fight was causing him excruciating pain, setting every nerve ending on fire. Byakko felt his muscles start to tremble with exhaustion as he tried to fight the devil, and he cried out softly when it caused another wave of pain. Fingers curling into the dirt, he panted.

"I... won't... surrender.”

|You will|

Sweat was running down his back, and Byakko sucked in another lungful of air. He had to withstand the devil, just long enough to force the hellish creature out of his body. Devils could possess humans without much effort, they could even overpower a shinigami, but a magical being like a shikigami had to surrender himself to the devil, had to willingly hand over the control or the devil wouldn't be able to hold on to the possessed body. All he had to do was to resist it, to win the battle that was currently taking place within himself by winning time.

"I... will not... surrender..."

|You will, believe me. Let me explain why...|

Red eyes widened when the devil activated his magic.

"... no..."

|Oh yes|

Byakko felt a hot wetness run over his cheeks as the invisible torture continued, the pain increasing.

"No!”

|Yes, my kitten. Like it? I bet you do...|

"NO!”

The voice in his head had taken on a sick sweetness, the agony making Byakko sobbingly suck air into his burning lungs, feeling invisible hands caressing his body in a perversion of tenderness.

|Surrender, kitty. Don't make it so hard for yourself|

" ... no ... "

|As you wish|

Byakko whimpered, closing his eyes against the onslaught of cruelty, his mind pleading for something, someone...

Touda...

...to stop the brutal assault...

|He's not here. He won't come, kitten|

...to end it, make the pain go away...

|You're the only one who can end it, kitten|

Touda... Tsuzuki!

|No one, kitten. It's only you and me here. Oh, you want to see one of your friends, don't you? That can be arranged...|

All Byakko could manage was a choking little sound when he looked up, looked into onyx eyes above him, felt strands of silky hair brush over his face as he ...

The anguished scream that echoed through the canyon spoke of a pain so complete, so soul deep even the age old mountains had ever heard of.

 

And Byakko opened his eyes again.  
But this time they were empty.

* * *

Byakko had returned from the Summoning just before night fall and disappeared into his private chambers, looking exhausted and a bit disheveled. Touda had simply watched his lover, not following. He knew that battles took a lot out of shikigami sometimes, and whatever Tsuzuki had called the tiger for, it had left a few marks. Best for Byakko to sleep it off – alone. Touda knew that while company was sometimes appreciated, recovery was a process that usually involved a lot of sleeping. Since Sohryu had wanted to see him anyway, he left the palace, heading for the huge building that was Sohryu's.

 

It was in the early hours of dawn that Sohryu finally called their meeting quits. The recent events, among them Touda's near-death, as well as Tsuzuki's, and the unbalancing of the whole of GensouKai warranted a lot of new protocols. Touda understood how delicate their situation was and while Hell wouldn't start attacking them, GensouKai had enough problems without having the enemy breathe down their necks. Hell had enough to deal with all on its own to bother with a weak realm that might warrant a take-over.

Stretching, looking around the quiet palace yard, Touda yawned a little. Sohryu had given him a whole list of things that needed checking within the next few days, some of them even involving Tsuzuki to a degree, which was why it fell into Touda's area of expertise. He was the only shikigami so intimately connected to their master.

A master who was the pivotal point of five realms, Touda mused. A strong young man with the power of a demon and the soul of a human being who had suffered so much. Almost automatically he checked on him, finding Tsuzuki asleep, in Hisoka's arms. The serpent grinned and pulled back, not to wake him.

Touda walked down the path that led to the main entrance and would be his way home. Suddenly he saw a flash of white and stopped. A frowned crossed his features and the golden eyes narrowed. He could see perfectly well at night and what he had seen had looked like... Byakko?

The serpent scanned the surrounding semi-darkness for another second before he decided to better be safe than sorry and turned on his heels. Should it turn it had only been a trick of the light or he was seeing things he could return home anyway. If not – well, that was to be seen. Touda was too paranoid thanks to his experiences that he would simply shrug and walk away. And since he was back to being in Sohryu's service again the dragon would have to put up with being interrupted. Not that his position or lack thereof had ever stopped him from saying what was on his mind. He was probably the only one to do so, aside from Rikugo.

He stepped back into the palace.

Touda heard the noise of shattering glass and splintering wood along with the angry growl of an animal and he started to run.

 

The sight that greeted him was one he would never have thought he might see. Attacks on the highest of the shikigami in GensouKai was a rare occasion. In the early times of the realm, when there had been feudal fights, it had happened, but in the last millennia, things had smoothed over. None of the lower ranks tried to usurp a higher position. And ever since all twelve were bound to one shinigami, those thoughts had died a quick death. The twelve Divine Commanders were strong; stronger than before. Tsuzuki gave them a strength that was unrivalled.

Fights among themselves were unheard of. There were sparring lessons, but not life or death confrontations. And aside from Rikugo and Sohryu, there were no true rivals, and even the two dragons only sparred on a political level.

So seeing the Protector of the West attacking their leader was something that stunned Touda for a whole second. He couldn't believe his eyes. Byakko was in his tiger form and he had apparently surprised Sohryu, who looked a bit stunned and disheveled.

Sohryu was strong, he was a dragon, he was fierce, but in his human form he was also more vulnerable than in his dragon one. The room was too small for the Protector of the East to act as a dragon, but Byakko fit in nicely.

And the tiger was ready to jump the dazed man.

Touda acted without thinking. Despite his equally huge size he initiated the change and the gigantic black serpent almost blew the walls out of the room. As it was, he managed to crack them, as well as the roof. Byakko roared in anger when he was suddenly caught in muscular coils.

"Byakko!” Touda yelled.

His partner and lover hissed and spit and clawed, the sharp talons sinking into the serpent body with ease. Touda snarled, but he didn't let go.

"Byakko, what are you doing?!”

There was a mad light in those red eyes, but suddenly it seemed to turn colder, more vicious, and the lips pulled away from sharp fangs. Touda all but shuddered when he felt a whiff of... something... demonic...

What?!

The tiger's teeth sank into his body and he clenched his jaws, blood running down the length of the black body, each wound painful but not really dangerous, but since Byakko showed no signs of calming, the amount of injuries was taking on an alarming count.

"Byakko, stop!”

I don't want to hurt you, Touda thought desperately, trying to wrap more and more of his body around the other, to trap him in his coils, but it was difficult. Byakko was twisting like mad.

One vicious blow stunned him and Touda drew back a little, giving Byakko the moment he needed to free himself. The tiger didn't waste a second and made for the still human figure of Sohryu, who had watched it all with horror and confusion, only now overcoming his initial shock of being attacked from an unsuspicious source.

Touda was fast.

And he had a dragon to protect.

Their leader. His friend. His commander.

And he sank his jaws into the neck of Byakko's fur.

The tiger screamed, but it wasn't pain. It was anger... fury... rage. Touda almost recoiled from the taste that hit him. This wasn't Byakko... It was to a degree, but there was something else, something bitter and harsh and evil and dark...

"Devil!” he hissed.

And the devil inside his lover was growing stronger and more restless.

Touda gave the how and why a devil had come here little thought. He knew only one thing: devils and demons had a time limit. It was impossible for them to stay inside a shikigami forever, unless the soul of that shikigami had died. That wasn't the case with Byakko. A soulless shikigami would shrivel up, fall apart, decay. The tiger was strong and healthy, and aside from smelling very much like a spawn of Hell now, he was himself.

So Touda held on to Byakko, whose struggles were growing weaker, trying to keep him from Sohryu. The devil was losing, expending all his strength to free his host from the serpent, and with it weakening himself.

And then it was over. Just like that. There was one loud screech from the writhing tiger, then the whole body seemed to freeze, stiffen, and finally shrank to its human form. Byakko fell to the ground, wreaked by cramps and shivers, and a mewling cry escaped his lips that finally turned into a shriek. A gaseous cloud formed over the young shikigami. It took on shape and size, but not true mass.

Touda saw the form of a devil, twisting, discorporated, unable to hold himself together, and it was howling loudly. Finally it dispersed, unable to exist outside Byakko's body, the form it had possessed.

There was nothing but silence, broken by Touda's harsh gasps and the soft drip-drip-drip of blood falling onto the floor. Inside, Touda felt the pressure from Tsuzuki as his friend tried to pierce through the shields the shikigami had erected to keep the other from suffering with him. The hell serpent changed form almost automatically and staggered over to his lover, who wasn't moving. Eyes closed, face haggard and pale, Byakko looked like...

No!

Hands that were covered in blood touched the pale neck and Touda collapsed to his knees when he felt the pulse, thready but there.

"Touda!”

He managed to raise his head, met blue-gray eyes, but no sound left his lips. His body was just now reacting to the horrors, to the pain, to the wounds that were numerous on his body.

Sohryu was at his side, kept him from falling face first onto the ground, and he heard the sound of running feet. There were suddenly numerous servants, loud voices, and Sohryu bellowing his commands. Touda didn't care. His golden eyes were on his lover's form and one hand covered Byakko's, curling weakly around it. The entire battle had only lasted for a few minutes.

What happened? Touda thought faintly. Why did a devil possess you? When? How could he manage to control you, Byakko?

The world was fading and he barely felt the gentle touch of a familiar shikigami. Rikugo was there and he willed him to look at Byakko. Touda knew that with a little rest he cold heal his injuries. But Byakko...

And then there was nothing but darkness.

* * *

Sohryu had shooed his personal servants away, unnerved by their hovering, their questions as to his condition, and he had finally executed his right as their master, almost kicking them out. They had scurried away, disturbed, but Sohryu didn't care. The events of the last few hours had rattled him badly.

Gazing at the closed door to the room where Byakko lay, he asked himself the same questions again and again: what had happened? Why had a devil made it into GensouKai as a stowaway in Byakko? And how come the young tiger had been under his control so completely? For a devil to possess a shikigami... the shikigami had to surrender to him, and Sohryu doubted Byakko had simply rolled over.

At the moment, Rikugo was taking care of their fellow God. The astrologer had looked horrified by the condition Byakko was in, as well as Touda's state, but Kochin had pushed him to their young friend while she would take care of Touda.

Steps alerted Sohryu to the arrival of their second patient and he almost smiled. Touda was shuffling toward him, looking like roadkill, swathed in bandages, but there was a determined expression in his eyes. Sohryu hadn't expected otherwise. It was hard to keep Touda down and right now he was more than worried about Byakko, who just happened to be the most important person in Touda's life, right after Tsuzuki.

"Sit before you collapse,” the dragon rumbled and nodded toward a couch.

Touda shot him a brief glare, but he did sink carefully into the cushions.

"Any word?” he demanded.

"No. Rikugo is still trying to figure out what happened.”

Touda snarled softly, his uninjured hand massaging over his bandaged one.

"Thank you,” Sohryu broke the silence between them.

There was no answer, just Touda's brief smile. Sohryu knew that his friend was loyal to him, despite their past, and that he would always be a protector of the representative of the Emperor in GensouKai. What he had done had come from that vow. That the attacker had been his lover had only briefly stopped Touda's defense. He had done what had needed to be done, getting wounded in the process. Had Byakko attacked outside the palace, Sohryu would have been able to defeat him on his own. The element of surprise had been to Byakko's advantage.

° ° °

Rikugo looked at his patient, feeling a sigh escape his lips.

What was going on here? What was happening to them? For centuries there had been no conflicts other than a political opposition or discussion, but lately, things were getting worse. Just a few weeks ago he had been trying to save Touda from death, and with him all realms from collapse. With Touda's death, Tsuzuki would probably have died, too, and then chaos would have struck. They had skidded sharply away from a total catastrophe.

And now Byakko...

"What happened to you?” he murmured.

Physically Byakko was fine. A bit on the thin side, but the Protector of the West had always been rather slender, even as a child, and Rikugo knew that he himself was still in need to replenish lost reserves. He had just now regained his full healing powers, and apparently not a day too soon.

The white tiger was unconscious, but it wasn't a healing sleep. He was very deep inside his mind and it had nothing to do with getting knocked out by the devil.  
Rikugo didn't understand how a devil could have broken the will of the God so easily. Byakko was a strong person... what could have happened to him?

Devils worked on the mind. They manipulated, coerced, coaxed, promised and threatened. They were quite good at their job and humans were easy prey. Mostly humans even called out to them to get their wishes fulfilled.

Byakko wasn't human. Far from it. He also hadn't called the devil; he had fought it. And lost.

Why?

Rikugo gently stroked over the unruly mop of hair. Byakko looked almost peaceful; almost. There were fine lines of stress on his smooth features, and they were deepening. Now and then the eyes would roam behind the closed lids and a finger would twitch.

"What happened?” Rikugo whispered.

Only one way to find out, to find Byakko, and get him back.

Rikugo opened his other eyes and concentrated on the man lying in front of him on the bed.

 

He found himself surrounded by high granite walls, a labyrinth of walls and corridors, only interrupted by heavy wooden doors, and he understood he had managed to step into Byakko's soul. A soul that had transformed into a web, into corridors with dead ends or circles, with memories closed away behind those doors. The astrologer had seen something like this before but not so complex, so multifaceted. Difficult. That devil must have done a fairly good job, but that meant he would need time to find Byakko who could hide himself behind any of these walls or doors, shut himself out from the outside world.  
Rikugo sighed. He really didn't want to this... and he opened the first door.

 

Semi-darkness enveloped him, and he waited for his eyes to adapt. Heavy walls, no windows, and a slightly moldy stain... a cell. There was a soft clinking of metal and when he turned Rikugo swallowed. There in a corner, chained to the wall, sat Byakko, huddled into himself, his clothes shredded and stained with something rusty red... what the...?

With a creak the large door opened and Byakko looked up, confused red eyes blinking into the sudden light. The person standing in the door was tall and when he stepped into the cell Rikugo recognized Sohryu. The dragon's face was a stony mask, his eyes hard and unrelenting, unforgiving as he stared down on the almost naked prisoner.

"S...Sohryu, I..."

"Silence! I just came here to look at the one who slaughtered my family.”

"I didn't do anything... Sohryu, please..."

Byakko's pleas met deaf ears, as the dragon turned sharply.

"Tenkuu. Seal this cell. Forever,” he ordered and then the door slammed shut.

Byakko's desperate screams went by unheard and the tiger broke down sobbing as the palace moved its walls.

 

Rikugo closed the door of the soul chamber and inhaled sharply.

Yes, something like this had happened five hundred years ago, but it hadn't happed to the tiger. Rikugo shook away the dreadful feeling when he thought about Touda and his incarceration. Back then they had sat in council over the serpent, who had been unable to defend himself at the time. He had been struck down and remained unconscious. They had ruled over his future, his fate, without listening to the reasons for his total loss.

Touda had been the one to be sealed away in Tenkuu.

Not Byakko.

So why...

He shuddered. The devil. It had started to manipulate Byakko's mind, as it seemed, playing with actual events, twisting them so that the white tiger was the guilty party.

Rikugo collected himself and straightened.

On to the next door.

 

It was like a déjà vu – same cell, same smell. But from the looks of it Byakko must have been here for a very long time. What had been left of his clothing was hanging from his thin form in small shreds and it wasn't white anymore. As was the hair which had grown. But when the door opened this time, Byakko didn't look up. He just did that when he heard the soft voice.

"Byakko.”

Hope shone in the tiger's red eyes and awe when he seemed to recognize the voice. A voice that had always meant hope and safety and love for him – the voice of his master.

"Byakko – do you regret what you did?”

"Tsuzuki...” the tiger's voice was hoarse from the long time of not using it. "Tsuzuki... what did I do? Why am I here? Why is everybody mad at me?”

"You still refuse to see, Byakko?”

"Tsuzuki?”

"You killed Sohryu's family, his kids, for crying out loud, in simple bloodlust, and you still refuse to see?”

Horror reflected on the tiger's face.

"I... no, please, I never..."

"You tore apart their little bodies and you still refuse? You disemboweled Terazuma in front of Sohryu's eyes and you expect us to be nice to you? And when Touda tried to stop you...?”

"Touda?” Byakko whispered. "What..?”

Tsuzuki snorted in disgust.

"Last thing I remember is you chewing on his throat. You killed him, Byakko. You almost killed me in the process, that's why I needed so long to come here and look into the eyes of a traitor. Rot in hell, Byakko. Thanks, Tenkuu. You can seal it again.”

 

Rikugo closed the door after him softly, not needing to see the expression on Byakko's face. There were many more doors and many more things for him to witness. Hopefully he would find the tiger soon. He chose the next one – and frowned.

 

A little run down hut at a small clearing, the sound of a little stream behind it. There was a small but well kept garden with some vegetables, and even a goat was enjoying the warm sun, tied at a long rope behind the hut. Somebody walked down the path toward the cabin, opening the door without even knocking. Rikugo stepped closer, wondering where he was or what he was witnessing. The figure froze and a ray of sunlight glittered on a metal blade, telling Rikugo that the owner of the hut hadn't been too pleased with his visitor and was holding a dagger. The knife disappeared and the figure threw away his coat, revealing long white spiky hair – Byakko. Strangely enough he wasn't wearing his usual white attire, but was clad in black. But who was the other person in the hut? Taking a much closer look Rikugo gasped when recognizing the man. Touda.

"Are you suicidal, cat?” The serpent snarled. "You know I can't sense your aura.”

"Yes, I know,” Byakko purred. "Due to that punishment of yours. I found out, Touda. You did kill Sohryu's wife, didn't you? Along with his son – your lover, I may add. Did you enjoy it, snake?”

 

Rikugo gaped in shock. He had never heard the gentle tiger use such malevolent words or speak in such a venomous tone. He saw golden eyes widen, the serpent shocked, too, before Touda regained his composure, turning his back to the tiger dismissively.

 

"Get lost.”

"Do I remind you of him, snake? Come here and make yourself useful.”

Touda stood frozen to the spot for a second, fists clenched at his side.

"Don't you dare order me around, Byakko. You better leave.”

 

Rikugo watched in growing horror as Byakko raised a training katana which seemed to have been increased by heavy iron weights. It crashed onto Touda's shoulder, making the serpent cry out with the pain. And then – Rikugo couldn't tear his gaze away from the vicious scene, watching as Byakko systematically beat the living daylights out of Touda, who due to the initial blow was too stunned to fight back. The wet sounds of tearing flesh and the snapping of bones made Rikugo shiver.

 

Breathing heavily Byakko stood in the middle of the hut, blood was dripping from the katana, before he kneeled down beside the bloody broken figure that was supposed to be the man he loved, regardless of the blood soaking his pants.

"Fool,” he hissed, clenching his fingers into Touda's hair and pulling his head up brutally. "And the really funny thing is, Byakko truly loves you, can you imagine that? Now,” he pulled the other man closer, opening his pants, ”make yourself useful, whore.”

 

Rikugo slammed to door shut.

The astrologer was confused. Shocked, too, about what he had seen so far. It were Byakko's memories of a life he had never lived like this, of a life where he was both Byakko, wind shikigami and Protector of the West like everybody knew him but also this twisted and jaded creature that liked to torture others – or was tortured, for that matter. Rikugo wondered what it could have been that had turned the gentle happy white tiger into that dark and hateful creature. He hesitated to open the next door ... but he also knew he had to.

And stood in his own study all of a sudden.

He was preparing to go to bed already, trying his best to ignore the raging storm outside. Rain was flowing down the windows, and the shutters rattled with the force of the storm and the thunder. It was the first heavy thunderstorm this year and it definitely indicated the nearing of winter.

 

Rikugo stared at himself stoking a fire in the fireplace and preparing for his evening rituals. It was a much younger self he noticed, the hair was only hanging down to his hips, and he wasn't wearing that many robes. Well, he hadn't, at least not in his private time, in his private rooms. And something about this evening was vaguely familiar.

 

A knock at the door caught his attention and he went to open -- it could only be a servant, he mused, he wasn't expecting any visitors. And then he looked down on a bathed cat.

"Holy ... Byakko, what are you doing out in a weather like this? Come on in, you're drenched to the bones, boy."

Byakko slowly entered the warm room, and Rikugo's eyes widened.

 

He remembered this evening. Oh yes, only too well.

 

The tiger was indeed soaked to his skin. He must have run all the way from his palace in this weather to come here.

 

Rikugo shook his head when he watched himself peel the boy out of his dripping clothes and rub the shivering body dry with a fluffy towel, then wrap him in one of his warmer robes.

 

He placed a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of the boy, watching as Byakko took a hesitant sip. He was the tiger's teacher since his father had died two years ago, and -- so he suspected -- the only father figure left for the little shikigami. The only one touching him, too.

"Now, Byakko, why did you come to me at this late hour?"

The white head sunk down and red eyes stared into the mug.

"I...I had a nightmare. And I couldn't go back to sleep."

 

Rikugo sighed as he remembered more and more of that night. Every once in a while the young boy had had bad dreams, or other problems a kid his age used to have. Waking up in a palace from a nightmare at a night like that, finding he wanted to cry out for his mother or father to hold him... and then remembering that they wouldn't come, couldn't come.

Yes, Byakko had sought him out more than once.

 

"You have to be tired, Byakko. Since your clothes are wet and all -- would you like to stay here the night?"

Red eyes lit up in hope, and the tiger beamed at him.

"May I?"

"Of course. Come, I'll carry you."

 

Byakko had been twelve years old, had even back then already been a God, but in moments like these he had allowed Rikugo to pamper him a little. He had done it, and gladly so, knowing that the child was just that -- a lonely little tiger missing his parents and in need for some comfort.

 

He put the kid down onto the pillows and gently tucked the blanket around the slender body, smiling when he noticed how Byakko snuggled into the blanket. He was a cat after all.

"Sleep well," he said softly, bending down and placing a little kiss on the kid's forehead before turning to leave.

A small hand sneaked around his wrist. Huge red eyes looked up at him pleadingly.

"Don't go. I... I don't want to be alone tonight."

He smiled reassuringly at the boy and shrugged out of his robe, slipping under the warm cover. The boy was snuggling against him immediately, sighing softly when he closed his arms around him.

 

Rikugo smiled with the memory.

Oh yes, Byakko had liked to cuddle up against him at nights like these. This had just been the first in a longer series when the child had been tormented by bad dreams. He had held him throughout the entire night, listened to the heartbeat and even breathing before he had dozed off himself.

The morning had found him with a little warm bundle in his arms, purring in delight when he had stroked his back -- sensuous little thing Byakko had been.

So what was so special with this memory? What had happened for Byakko that night?

A minute later Rikugo regretted asking.

 

He stroked over the slender form in his arms, caressed the back, put a little more pressure here and there and Byakko started purring.

"Feels nice, R'kugo," the tiger murmured, already half asleep. But then red eyes flew open in confusion as a hand slipped underneath the robe, caressing naked skin.

"Rikugo?" the boy asked, confused and bewildered as he undid his belt, parting the robe, one hand wandering over the body while the other one was pressing Byakko close.

"Rikugo... I... what are you doing, Rikugo? No... please... "

He had rolled the boy on his back and was now blanketing the much smaller body...

 

Rikugo paled dramatically, not believing what he was seeing. Gods, no... he had never, never laid a finger on the boy, let alone...

 

"What do you think I'm doing, little one? You come here, sneak into my bed and expect me to do nothing? You want it, too, and you know it. You're asking for it, aren't you?"

 

The astrologer felt his stomach clench painfully as he watched himself hold the boy's wrists over his head with one hand, pin him down with his weight and close off any protest with a bruising kiss, while he was at the same time reaching between the boy's legs, parting them roughly ...

Rikugo slammed the door of the soul chamber shut behind him, but not in time to avoid hearing the most horrendous sound he could ever imagine - a child's voice screaming in fear and pain.

 

He needed a few minutes to catch his breath, to wipe away the cold feeling that was freezing him in the darkness of Byakko's mind and swallow the nausea, the disbelief and terror that threatened to overwhelm him at what he had just witnessed. There were more soul chambers, and Rikugo would have to open them in order to find the one the white tiger was currently hiding in.

He was afraid of what he might find.

°

He heard the soft sobbing sounds right after he had opened the door, and it cut even deeper into his heart. Rikugo had had to open more doors, had seen more horrors

\- like the thirteen year old Byakko being thrown over the table, a hand covering his mouth to prevent him from screaming too loud...

\-- fifteen year old, being tutored by him and the light in his eyes dying when he put a praising hand on his shoulder from behind, caressing the nape of his neck...

\-- sixteen year old Byakko, curled naked on his bed in a position so awkward the astrologer needed a second to realize his hands were bound over his head to the bed frame, sobbing. A tall figure towering over him, stroking the trembling form...

 

‘No, please, no more!'  
‘You are young, your body knows what it wants, Byakko. And right now it wants this, kitten.'

 

...watching himself rolling the nude body on his back, spreading the quivering legs and bending his head between them, watching red eyes squeeze shut against tears rolling over pale cheeks, hearing Byakko make a choked little sound as the slender body responded to a pleasure its owner didn't want, trembled through a climax that was forced from it, hearing Byakko cry out as his legs were spread farther, hearing his own voice moan as he...

...it had been too much, far too much, and Rikugo wished dearly for the opportunity to simply throw up - repeatedly.

There had been more doors, more memories of him molesting the young man, even some where Byakko actually tried to fight him.

It had ended only even nastier.

And then there had been scenes where he had read the hatred in Byakko's eyes.

 

And now it looked as if he had finally found the chamber where Byakko had fled to, had locked himself in. The room was pitch dark, the only light illuminating it came from the corridor. It fell onto a huddled white clad figure and Rikugo knew he had found Byakko.

The young man lay on his side, knees drawn up to his chest and hugging himself, a shiver running over the slender form. Slender? No, no more. Skinny. It wasn't exactly Byakko's physical form he was seeing but still -- it looked as if the tiger was trying to starve himself, ribs actually poking through the pale skin on his ribs, clearly visible where the white coat had been ripped open.

Holy...

And then Rikugo heard it.

A harsh, almost inaudible whisper, a litany of words coming from the young man.

"...my fault... my fault... make it go away... my fault..."

Rikugo kneeled carefully beside the trembling form of his friend, stretching out a hand slowly.

"Byakko," he cautiously addressed the huddled man, not really surprised at the lack of reaction. Byakko was under deep. Very deep.

"Byakko, do you hear me?"

There was only a slight shiver running over the body before Byakko resumed chanting.

Rikugo touched.

And Byakko exploded.

With a terrified scream the tiger scrambled away from him, the flare of his power shoving Rikugo back against the wall, making him cry out more at the suddenness than the pain of impact.

When he shook his head and looked again he only saw darkness, just the echo of Byakko's harsh breathing in the shadows telling him the tiger hadn't retreated completely, was still around somewhere. Then the chants began again, and this time it made Rikugo's blood run cold.

"... my fault... end it... I end it... my fault ... end it ... "

° ° °

Touda watched Rikugo pale considerably, cold sweat breaking out on the astrologer's face as he Looked into his lover's soul. The serpent didn't like what he saw, not one bit, and when Rikugo suddenly swayed he caught the slender form before he could hit the ground. The other shikigami was trembling so hard, Touda was briefly afraid he was having an episode. Red eyes closed and onyx opened, and Touda was shocked to see how shaken the usually so calm and steady man was.

"Rikugo?"

"Tsuzuki... we need Tsuzuki, quickly." The normally so smooth voice was harsh, rough, and painful on his ears.

Touda didn't ask what for -- he just yelled for his master over the bond.

* * *  
Tsuzuki had little information on what had happened in the last few days. He had been witness to Touda's injuries, but the black shikigami bonded to him had cut him off afterwards, raising shields that Tsuzuki had had to tolerate. He would have gone into GensouKai if there hadn't been a case that needed all his attention, and while he was worried, he had suppressed his instinctive need to be with his friends until he and Hisoka had completed their assignment.

It was around the end of that case when the walls suddenly collapsed and he was almost flooded with the presence of the hell serpent. Part of him registered Hisoka's soft gasp as Touda's mind slipped so violent into the one of his master. Violent for the empath because he felt it so acutely. Tsuzuki didn't have a lot of trouble handling it.

::Touda?::

Tsuzuki hugged the black serpent tightly, immediately checking on his condition. What he saw made him frown. Touda appeared injured, though the wounds were healing, and he was exhausted.

::We need you!::

Tsuzuki rocked back under the information that accompanied the cry, shocked by what had happened to Byakko, and only Touda's harsh ‘Tsuzuki, stop!' kept him from immediately going into GensouKai.

::Listen to me first:: Touda growled. ::We do need you here, but before you come storming in, understand what happened. First of all, none of this is your fault. The devil possessed the shikigami you called. It could have been anyone. Second, you couldn't have prevented it::

Tsuzuki sighed. He knew he was prone to guilt trips, but even he understood that this was something beyond his control. No one could have known, and even a shikigami like Touda could have become a victim.

::Rikugo needs you for some reason or other. I suspect it's because of what he Saw::

::I'm coming:: he whispered again, even his mind voice a little shaky.

He kept the connection to his shikigami open, still keeping an eye on Touda, who didn't come across as strong as usual. No surprise there. Byakko was his lover and whatever it was that had hurt the tiger, it was also hurting Touda.

"Tsuzuki?" Hisoka's calm voice drew him out of his thoughts and he found his partner leaning against the wall of the corridor, arms crossed, a slight scowl on his features.

There were no signs of the earlier discomfort when he had had to endure Touda's violent invasion of his lover's mind. Tsuzuki wanted to over to him, hug him, apologize, but the urgency still radiating from Touda was overpowering.

"I need to leave," he only said.

"What happened?"

"A devil entered GensouKai. He possessed Byakko in our last fight and slipped in. He hurt Byakko..."

Hisoka's features showed surprise. "He was possessed? But shikigami can't be possessed by devils..."

"I know, Hisoka, I know." Tsuzuki worried his lower lip, glancing toward Tatsumi's office. He needed to tell him that he had to go. Tatsumi would understand, but he probably wouldn't like it.

"I'll tell him," Hisoka offered.

The older shinigami beamed at him. "Thank you!"

"You owe me lunch," Hisoka added without moving a muscle.

Tsuzuki gave him another bright smile, agreeing readily, then briefly leaned down and kissed his lover. "Thanks."

Hisoka pushed him away, though not unkindly, a small twinkle in his eyes. "Go. See to your shikigami."

Tsuzuki nodded and hurried off.

° ° °

He was expected by Touda and Tsuzuki winced when he took in the battered and bruised serpent. Touda looked like he had gone a round or two with something very, very angry.

"Touda..." he murmured and rested a careful palm against the black-clad chest.

The shikigami gave him a brief, tired smile. "It looks worse than it is, Tsuzuki."

And it was Byakko's work. Tsuzuki stroked over the firm chest, needing to reassure himself that his friend was fine, and Touda drew him into a hug. He felt the warmth of his shikigami, the life pulsing under the skin, and he knew Touda was okay, despite his looks. Still, it hurt to see him like this.

::I'm fine, Asato. Don't worry::

::I always do::

Touda smiled slightly. It was barely even visible. "Rikugo is waiting," he murmured.

And they went. Tsuzuki gazed at the pale-faced servants, listened to their whispers, their voices muted and full of horror. He understood their emotions because he felt the same.

How could this have happened?

GensouKai was supposed to be protected from a devil invasion. Why hadn't the Emperor been alerted? He should have detected the devil right away. He should have alerted Sohryu. Sohryu himself should have been able to sense the invader.

Tsuzuki hoped he would get answers to those questions.

Touda led him into Sohryu's massive palace and the dragon immediately approached his master. The narrow face looked worn, there was a disheveled aura around the blue dragon, and he appeared rather undone. Tsuzuki gazed at him, eyes filled with worry, and Sohryu smiled a little. His hand cupped his shinigami master's face.

"I wish you had a happier reason to come visit us," he greeted him.

"Me, too, Sohryu."

"Byakko is in one of the private chambers. I suppose Touda already told you what happened?"

Tsuzuki nodded. "Yes," he answered softly.

"Rikugo needs your help to get to Byakko. He believes you can reach him better than any one of us. He is your first shikigami and you share a strong bond of trust and friendship."

But don't you share the same? Tsuzuki asked silently, not voicing it.

From the fine lines in everyone's face, that was not an option. And the moment he saw Rikugo, he knew it was really bad. The astrologer looked almost as horrible as back when Touda had nearly died, and that had only been a few weeks ago. Rikugo had just about recovered and again he had been asked to heal, to go deep, to use his powers. Tsuzuki's heart went out to the powerful dragon.

"Oh, Rikugo," he whispered.

Blond hair had escaped the long, braided tail, and hung into his face. The black eyes were filled with barely suppressed fear, and Rikugo's second set of eyes was open. He didn't even close them when Tsuzuki approached, which was tell-tale enough. Only hesitantly the dragon eyes slid shut.

On the bed lay a very pale and rather small looking Byakko. Tsuzuki swallowed hard. His friend appeared thin, the silvery-white hair undone and stringy, no longer so vibrant and soft and a mass of untamed power. He had been stripped of his clothes and was only clad in a simple shirt and pants. There were no visible injuries, but even without knowing about the fight it was quite obvious that Byakko wasn't just sleeping.

"Tsuzuki," the blond greeted him, the voice hoarse and a bit tremulous. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course I would come!" He hurried over to his shikigami. "What can I do to help?"

Rikugo drew a shuddering breath, swaying a little.

"Rikugo?" Tsuzuki asked, wrapping his arms around the slim body. Worry doubled inside him as he felt the weak hug in return.

"We have no time to lose, Tsuzuki."

"What's wrong?"

"Byakko is about to get lost in his own mind, and I... I can't pull him out, can't reach him. He'll need someone he trusts instinctively, someone whose call he'll answer any time."

"What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to guide him back."

Tsuzuki gazed at the unconscious tiger. "How?"

"I'll take you with me when I go into his mind again, but instead of me, you have to be the one to approach him, touch him, talk to him."

"Okay. I think I can do that."

It got him a wan smile. "Thank you."

Tsuzuki gazed at Byakko's too pale form on the bed and decided to ask the million questions on his mind later. He waited for the astrologer to make his move.

Rikugo closed his onyx eyes to concentrate, opening his other two pairs. If Tsuzuki hadn't seen this before, it probably would have freaked him out. It was a creepy sight to witness his shikigami work his magic. One red eye rolled around fixating him, and Tsuzuki braced himself --

\-- leaning against the heavy brick wall of a dark and spine-chilling place.

He gasped at the sudden change of environment. Blinking, feeling the oppressive force of this dungeons almost smother him, Tsuzuki fought against a sense of vertigo.

Where... where was he?

A warm hand landed on his shoulder and he turned, relieved to find Rikugo at his side.

"What is this place?" he asked quietly.

"Byakko's mind, at the moment. Yes, I know what it looks like, but unfortunately we don't have the time to discuss that right now. If we don't hurry up, we might lose him."

Tsuzuki swallowed looking around, This was a dark, dark place. Like the dungeons right out of a horror movie. It was damp and dark and oppressive. There was mold on the wet brick stones, and here and there he thought he saw something slither and skitter over the stones.

He shivered a little, glad to feel Rikugo's balancing presence with him.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Yes, I found the place he is hiding right now. Follow me."

Tsuzuki fell in step behind Rikugo. What had happened to the wind god, his first shikigami, to make him want to hide himself from the world? He already knew about the devil attack, Touda had kept him informed, but he hadn't, in his wildest dreams, imagined something like this.

This was like... Tsuzuki swallowed. It felt like the lower levels of Tenkuu, the prison of Touda, those damp and lonely cells where no one ever came. Those were levels where only despair reigned. Touda had been locked away in a place without sun, without happiness, completely cut off from the world, and now Byakko's mind looked like a worst case mirror image...

"Here," Rikugo's soft tenor pulled him out of his thoughts, as the astrologer pointed toward a heavy wooden door.

Like everything else, it looked a lot like the ones Tenkuu had in her deepest dungeons.

"He's in here."

Tsuzuki exchanged worried glances with the taller man, then inhaled deeply and carefully pushed open the heavy door.

He was in a desolate place. Not a room, but a landscape. A landscape with walls. Surreal and hurting him without inflicting physical wounds. Tsuzuki gasped softly at the darkness everywhere. It wasn't nightfall. It wasn't even sunrise. It wasn't anything at all.

No light, no warmth, no colors. Just grayness.

And in the middle of it, curled up against a low wall that looked like there had been a house once, was his first shikigami. Byakko.

He whispered the name and a shiver raced through the tiger. He was dressed in rags, gray and brown and black, a mockery of his former splendor, his expensive and representative robes as the Protector of the West. The hair was filthy, the whole body appeared frail, and the skin was sickly in color.

"Byakko," Tsuzuki whispered again, walking over to the suffering man like on automatic, drawn to him, needing to help.

He sank to his knees at the tiger's side, Rikugo forgotten, and reached out to touch a slender shoulder.

"Byakko," he coaxed.

Red eyes blinked open and peeked at him. Their light was dull.

"Hey," Tsuzuki whispered softly. His hands stroked over the cool skin, ran along the filthy hair.

Byakko started to tremble. A soft gasp left his lips and he began to push himself more against the wall, as if he was afraid of Tsuzuki.

"It's okay," Tsuzuki soothed him. "This is a bad dream, a nightmare. Whatever you think happened, it didn't. Byakko, it didn't."

He wrapped his hands around the cold fingers.

"I'm here. You're safe."

And he kept up the litany of words, of caresses, feeling the world shrink away, reduced to only the pain-filled red eyes that stared at him with such terror.

"...didn't mean to..." the wind god suddenly whispered, voice soft, broken, almost dead. "... killed... didn't mean... didn't want... my fault..."

"You didn't kill anyone. Sohryu's fine, Touda's fine, everyone's fine. It was a nightmare. Nothing is real," Tsuzuki told him.

"Mad at me... banished me..." Tears tracked over the grimy cheeks. "Tsuzuki... you left... me... there..." he stammered. "I never wanted... meant to... never!"

"I know," Tsuzuki murmured and gathered the unresisting form into his arms.

He didn't care about the filth, the smell, anything. He only felt the too thin, starving form cling to him heard the dry sobs, and the tears ran free. Tsuzuki's aura rose, enveloped them, and Byakko cried out at the sensation of the darkness. It wasn't fear. It was like... despair.

"You're dreaming," the shinigami repeated. "Please come back to me, Byakko. I love you. I need you. I need you with me. We all need you. Touda is going crazy with worry."

"Killed him..."

"No, you had a nightmare, Byakko. You didn't kill anyone."

The tiger was shaking so hard, Tsuzuki wrapped his arms more tightly around him.

"Come home," he begged. "Come back to me."

"I don't know how," was the tremulous and so very soft reply.

Tsuzuki framed the haggard face and smiled warmly. "I'll show you. Do you trust me?"

The nod was almost immediate. The red eyes were filled with need and so much pain, Tsuzuki had to lean forward and place a little kiss on the cool forehead.

"Let's go home."

° ° °

Sohryu didn't know all the details as to what Rikugo had seen in Byakko's mind, but one look at the pale shikigami told him that whatever it was, it hadn't been pretty. The astrologer had released little information about Byakko's state of mind, about what the devil had done. Only so much that the dragon knew enough. The devil had inflicted a lot of psychosomatic damage on their fellow God. He had twisted the truth, had made Byakko suffer fates worse than anything that had ever happened to anyone. He had changed the truth.

Sohryu was aware that his role in Byakko's past, the past the tiger had been forced to live through in his nightmares, had been far from nice. He had apparently incarcerated Byakko for killing his family.

Rikugo didn't know how much their friend would remember of the dreams and horrors when he finally woke, but he had warned everyone of his role, of possible reactions until Byakko could differentiate between truth and lies. Most likely the memories would face in time, but until then, confusion might happen.

Sohryu had watched the other dragon closely throughout the whole time he had reported his findings, and he saw bone-deep exhaustion and weariness that was only a breath away from what Rikugo had looked like weeks before when he had kept Touda alive. The astrologer had been asked to dig deep into his powers twice within a few weeks and it was costing him.

"Rest," Sohryu ordered.

"I'm still needed."

"Rikugo..."

Black eyes flared with a little more life. "I can't leave him now!"

"Tsuzuki is here. You said it yourself: he is out of his coma and sleeping. Our master is there with him and he won't let him do anything harmful. Don't you think  
Tsuzuki can handle him?"

"Of course he can, but..."

"Rikugo, sleep. Get some rest and recover! That's an order."

The dark eyes flared more and Sohryu smiled at the open anger. Giving the astrologer an order was a sure way of getting a strong response out of him, especially when Rikugo didn't feel like the order was justified. Now the blond stopped and inhaled sharply, trembling a little. One shaky hand rubbed over his pale features.

"Okay," he gave in, voice soft. "For a few hours."

Sohryu nodded, keeping himself from patting the other dragon's back. Rikugo wouldn't appreciate it. And Sohryu couldn't be sure he would still have a hand afterwards. Their relationship wasn't physically violent, but Rikugo was under a lot of stress right now, combined with the aftereffects of what had been before.

He was dangerous.

"I'll call you when something changes," the dragon promised.

Rikugo shot him a suspiciously surprised look, then just nodded. Sohryu watched him go and sighed softly. He really needed to work on their relationship -- what there was. After Touda's near-death and after really looking at his political opposition, Sohryu had sworn to himself to work on their interaction. He couldn't continue treating Rikugo as he had, especially after what the shikigami had done. Things were changing, and he had to change, too.

Sohryu walked the halls of his palace, servants bowing but not approaching him. Everybody knew that the Protector of the West had been attacked, was in a terrible condition, and that this reflected on all twelve Commanders.

He found himself in the inner garden not much later, inhaling the sweet scent of the flowers, the crisp air of a rather cool night, and his thoughts strayed to Terazuma. He wished his partner was here. He needed someone to lean on, something he had never confessed to before.

What is going on here?

The thought came again, unbidden, as it had come so often in the past months. A lot had happened lately. It had opened his eyes to his master, his friend, Tsuzuki; it had made him aware of changes, of necessary adaptations, and of his fellow shikigami in a way he had never thought possible.

And it had all started with the moment Enma-Daiou had linked Tsuzuki and Touda with the bond. Ever since then, it had begun, had been set into motion, and Sohryu was hard pressed to understand everything. A lot of good had come out of it.

Touda had been pardoned. They knew the truth behind his black-out now.

Byakko had found a partner who, despite looking the opposite, matched the tiger perfectly.

Sohryu himself had found love again, and in turn he had helped a shinigami accept who he was, what he could do, and to see more in the shikigami that possessed him than a necessary evil.

But there had also been revelations...

Like Tsuzuki's role in the survival of all realms. GensouKai owed its safety and prosperity of the last decades to this unassuming young shinigami. Because he had mastered all twelve of the Commanders, all four Gods with them, the strength of the twelve had surpassed everything that had been there before, allowing Sohryu to stabilize GensouKai in the digital world.

Tsuzuki was their strength and he was their main weakness, though since GensouKai's instability also meant the breakdown of Hell and with it Meifu and the world of the living, Hell wouldn't try to take out the one center point to their existence. It would mean total chaos.

Sohryu closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He felt so tired, so restless, so exhausted, so... helpless.

A devil had made it into a shikigami, a God, had broken him, and had entered GensouKai undetected. Why? How?!

The Golden Emperor wasn't answering his representative's requests to talk to him, and he had been ominously away and silent ever since Tsuzuki's bond to Touda. Sohryu could feel him still, but he wasn't there any more. It was like he had pulled away, simply watching.

Why should he watch the downfall of his realm? Why should he leave it up to his shikigami and a few shinigami along the way to save the day?

"What is going on here?" he murmured.

Are you sure the Emperor is even still alive?

Words that still rang in his ears. Back then, those had been traitorous words. He had been furious at the other dragon for even thinking something like this. Sohryu knew the Emperor was alive since he could feel his presence, but lately... lately feeling the presence wasn't enough to convince him any more.

But if the Emperor was dead... if Kurikara had been correct... shouldn't GensouKai be victim to Hell already? The Emperor kept this realm safe from invasion. Hell wouldn't just sit back and send one devil, hiding in Byakko. They would have launched an all-out army.

Sohryu sighed softly once more. For the first time in centuries he wished he could talk to his former friend, but Kurikara had disappeared. Not even the destabilization of the realm had brought him back into the picture. Wherever he was in GensouKai, he hid.

There was a whisper of a movement and someone stepped out of the shadows of the building. Slender, dressed in a very rumpled looking suit, Tsuzuki looked pale and tired, but the violet eyes were burning. Sohryu rose automatically.

"Tsuzuki..."

"He's sleeping," the shinigami answered the unspoken question. "Touda's with him."

Sohryu nodded wordlessly. Tsuzuki looked at him, a gentle smile on his lips, and suddenly the regal Protector of the East found himself hugged by his shinigami master. A shudder went through his body as he reacted to the offered comfort, as his mind cried out to accept the embrace as what it was, and he felt muscles relax. He rested his chin on the tousled head and closed his eyes, lungs inflating as he inhaled deeply.

"You should rest, too," Tsuzuki murmured into the folds of his rather simple robe. "Rikugo isn't the only one who needs sleep."

Sharp as ever. Despite his appearance and the sometimes clueless behavior, Tsuzuki was far more.

"I can't."

"You have to. They need you awake later on. I'll be here, too, Sohryu. Nothing will happen."

He chuckled softly. He knew his servants would follow Tsuzuki's orders, too. The shinigami had power here, though he had never used it before.

Hands stroked over him. "Sleep," Tsuzuki suggested.

"I will, Asato. I just need a bit to unwind."

Amethyst eyes danced a little as the shinigami looked up, meeting blue-gray eyes. "Maybe I should call Terazuma?" he suggested.

"I thought you said I should rest?" Sohryu teased.

Tsuzuki grinned. It was an infectious smile and Sohryu stroked over the smooth skin of one cheek. He placed a little kiss onto the forehead of his friend.

"I promise to sleep, Tsuzuki."

"Good."

And he would honor that promise.

* * *  
Byakko woke to a world of confusion and sluggish thoughts. He blinked into the semi-darkness that surrounded him, wondering where he was, what he was doing here, and why he was here. This wasn't his room. That much he could tell. And he felt so weak, so sick, so... not like himself.

Memories teased.

A fight.

He had assisted Tsuzuki in a fight against a devil. They had won, and he had returned to GensouKai.

After that, things got blurry. He thought he remembered Touda and Sohryu, even Rikugo... but why? What had that to do with anything? And why was he so weak?  
Had the devil injured him? He couldn't remember getting wounded.

There was movement a the edge of his vision and Byakko turned his head. There was a soft glow of golden eyes.

"Touda?" he murmured.

 

Hands ripping into flesh.  
A scream.

 

The serpent shikigami sat down on the mattress and a warm hand stroked over his face. "Hey," he murmured.

"What happened? Where am I?" Byakko wanted to know.

 

Kitten...  
Don't fight it, kitten.  
You're mine...

 

"You're in Sohryu's palace. There was an... accident. You were attacked by a devil."

Byakko with even more confusion. "Attacked? He injured me?"

 

A dark and lonely place.  
Chains.  
Tsuzuki? Why are you mad at me?

"In a way. How do you feel?"

"Tired. Confused. What happened, Touda?" Agitation raced through him. He couldn't remember! And what he did recall was fragmented at best. "Tsuzuki... he's mad at me? Why?"

His lover sighed softly. "Tsuzuki isn't mad at you, Byakko. It was a dream. A nightmare. It was what he devil did."

You killed... everyone... are you happy?  
Tsuzuki?!

Byakko shivered a little and Touda murmured soothingly.

"A nightmare. What you remember are nightmares. Nothing was real."

"Feels... like it happened."

It was so strange. He felt so much and then again remembered so little.

"Where's Tsuzuki?"

"He's sleeping."

Byakko twisted his head and tried to find a trace of his master.

"Byakko, calm down," Touda commanded.

"I remember him being mad," the younger shikigami whispered brokenly.

"He isn't mad. You dreamed. It was the devil's work."

"Devil?"

Kitten... mine... I'll make you scream...

The door opened and a rather sleepy Tsuzuki hurried in. His white shirt was untugged, the jacket of his habitual black suit missing, and he was bare-footed. His hair looked like he had slept on it and not been able to find a comb.

Byakko sat up, was drawn between needing to touch his master and drawing away in fear. Tsuzuki didn't give him a chance to decide. He flung his arms around the white tiger.

"I'm so glad you're awake!"

Rot in hell, Byakko. I hate you.

He mewled softly, not daring to touch the man his mind told him hated him.

"Everything's okay, Byakko," Tsuzuki whispered into the silver hair spilling over his shoulders. "I don't hate you. You dreamed. The devil hurt you. I love you. You know I love you. You were my first shikigami and you will always be special."

Tears tracked down his cheeks. "Tsuzuki..." There was a pressure on his chest, on his mind, and things were so confusing.

"I love you, Byakko."

He clung to his friend, let the soothing aura envelop him, and the memories washed slowly away, fading into a dream-like state.

"Tell me what happened," he begged weakly. "I don't understand..."

The aura strengthened. "After you have washed and eaten, Byakko," Tsuzuki told him. "You were in a coma and you need to regain some strength. Then we talk."

Byakko wanted to protest, but he relented to the gentle order of his master. Tsuzuki smiled at him, looking so happy and so relieved despite his exhaustion.

"Okay," he murmured.

° ° °

Suzaku sat on the long, heavy wooden table in the main dinner room, feet dangling in the air, eyes on the ornate floor. It was late and she knew she should be either in her own place or out patrolling her quarter of GensouKai, but she was reluctant to leave Sohryu's palace. Many of the Commanders had come by in the last hours, hearing about Byakko's waking, and they had wanted to know how he was.

She had stayed.

Byakko had been awake for a while, talking to Touda, Sohryu and Tsuzuki, and he had been told what had happened.

It was something Suzaku couldn't understand at all. How could this have happened? Why had it happened?

Her brief conversation with Sohryu hadn't shed any light on the matters, only confused her more. Her fellow God hadn't been able to sense the arrival of the devil either.

There was a strong aura all of a sudden and she looked up, meeting the unshielded, golden eyes of Touda. She hadn't felt him arrive until just now, which was more proof to his stealth techniques and her preoccupation.

They looked at each other, Touda's face giving nothing away. Expressionless, eyes cold, the hell serpent met her eyes, but she detected a faint note of exhaustion. This had to be very hard on him. Byakko was his lover and partner, and she knew how much the tiger loved Touda. Touda's feelings for the younger shikigami were never quite so exuberantly open as Byakko's were for him, but she had realized a long time ago how tightly those two were interwoven.

"How is he?" she finally broke the silence.

"Resting."

She nodded. "Good."

"It makes no sense for you to be here," Touda stated matter-of-factly.

"He is my friend."

Touda tilted his head a little. "You cannot change what happened."

"Neither can you." There was a little flare of temper, then she pushed it back down.

"No one can."

"How's he dealing with the truth?"

"Badly."

Suzaku gazed at the floor again. "How could this happen, Touda? How could this go by undetected?"

He approached, a silent shadow, dressed in black, which was his usual color, and Suzaku saw the same questions written into his face.

"No one knows."

"You plan to find out?"

There was an almost evil smile. "I will."

"I'll help."

Touda chuckled. "Why?"

"Byakko is my friend. He's like a little brother to me. I love him. Do you need any more reasons?"

Again she was submitted to a rather oddly emotionless look. "You think you can do it without trying to take my head off every step of the way?"

They hadn't sparred in months. Ever since she had hurt the serpent close to almost killing him, their relationship had been on a purely professional level. Suzaku had seen Touda in meetings, on official business, but she had tried not to run into him outside those occasions. It wasn't that she couldn't control her temper; it was more.  
It was something inside of her that was still dealing with so many changes, with Touda's freedom, his pardon, his new position, and him being Byakko's lover, though the latter was paling in the light of the other problems she had.

"I'm not some retarded barbarian," she snapped.

"I never said so, Suzaku. I'm just pointing out that out relationship is rather at odds, and until lately all you ever did was go after me in a fight." Touda smirked a little.

"Hope that didn't go to your head," she muttered angrily and slid off the table.

She stalked toward the exit, her pony-tailed hair swaying, her gait sure and filled with suppressed emotions.

"Suzaku."

She stopped and glanced at the black shikigami over her shoulder. Touda's eyes were a dark golden, his face suddenly so much more tired than before.

"I would appreciate your help," he only said.

There was a moment of silence as the two warriors looked at one another, then she nodded once.

And left.

° ° °

He woke with a gasp, heart hammering in his chest. Red eyes scanned the interior of the bedroom, semi-lit by an almost full moon. A cool breeze moved the curtains gently. There was no threat. There was nothing to fear. The tiger settled back in his pillows, his heart rate slowly returning to normal. It had been nothing but a dream.

Nightmare.

A warm arm snaked around his waist as Touda pulled him close and Byakko snuggled immediately against the warm body.

"You okay?" Touda rumbled softly.

Byakko nodded. "I'm fine. Let's go back to sleep."

"Hm."

A pair of lips brushed against his bare neck and Byakko closed his eyes, sighing softly.

It had been a bad dream and he couldn't even remember what had happened. It was already fading, only the emotions remained, the nameless terror.

 

When Touda woke the following morning he was alone in bed. Maybe that was what had him wake before his usual time. The spot where Byakko normally lay curled up and dozing was cold and empty. His lover rarely got up before him; almost never. Only when Touda worked long into the night.

Golden eyes gazed at the spot and he sighed softly.

Nightmares had been expected. He had also expected Byakko to push him away, claim he was fine. His lover was a strong and independent person and he hated to be weak. The devil had used him, abused him, had twisted his reality, and while Touda knew only fragments, mostly concerning him, he suspected there was a lot more.

He got out of bed and dressed.

While he wanted to go and look for his wayward partner, he knew that Byakko didn't appreciate of being babied. The tiger would come to him if he needed someone to hold him, be with him, listen to him, even if his words mostly made no sense, except to him.

Touda would be there when Byakko needed him,

Until then he had a few other things to take care of, research to do, and he would hopefully find out how the devil had entered GensouKai.

* * *

Byakko sat in his private chambers, curled up on his favorite chair, drinking hot tea and gazing out the wide open doors of the balcony. It was a beautiful day. Warm. Sunny. Wonderful. Perfect.

He felt like crying.

Byakko was missing days of his life and aside from strange recollections that made no sense or too much, there was nothing. Tsuzuki's continued presence had alleviated the fear that his master hated him, had banished him, didn't want him any more. Tsuzuki had spent hours with the white tiger, just sitting together, dozing, having fun, talking, reading... just being together.

It helped.

The strange memories concerning Touda had disappeared. He didn't really know what the devil had used, but for a while Byakko had thought he had hurt his lover. Maybe it was just something from the awful days when Touda had hovered at death's door.

Sohryu was a similar matter. He recalled the dragon being angry with him, but not why. Something to do with his family, but Byakko had only met them as a child. He didn't really remember much. Keijin was a face and Aya... He didn't remember her at all. Those memories had faded like the dream was now beginning to dissolve.

He tried to remember what the devil had done while he had been possessed, but it was like a total blank.

Touda had told him about the attempted attack on Sohryu, and it had horrified him. Still, he couldn't remember and no one blamed him.

Aside from himself.

I want to know! he thought desperately. I want to know what that bastard did to me! Why did I fall victim to him.

Because he had been broken by something the creature had confronted him with, twisting his memories.

Which ones? What had broken his neck? His spirit... his soul...

Byakko sighed deeply and sipped his hot tea. It was frustrating. Really, really frustrating.

 

Tsuzuki had to return later that day. Byakko hugged him tightly, so thankful for the shinigami's very presence, and Tsuzuki smiled widely at him.

The tiger was still bothered by his memory gaps, as well as the strange fragments he was getting now and then, fragments that made no sense and had nothing to do with either Sohryu or Touda. His fear of Tenkuu was receding, though he couldn't walk into the palace.

"I understand your fears," the building told him gently. "Whatever that creature of Hell did to you, it manipulated your mind to make us into your enemies."

Byakko sat with his back against one of the strong, thick walls, sighing. "I just wish I could pinpoint those dreams, Tenkuu. It's like being afraid of the dark. The darkness is just dark, but why do you fear it? There's no rational reason."

"Give yourself time, Byakko," was the calm answer. "You were under a lot of pressure. Your mind needs to recover."

Another sigh, then he nodded and walked off.

° ° °

Rikugo walked through the long corridor that led to the library, realizing only by the semi-lighting that it was late. Grabbing the scrolls he had worked on more tightly to prevent them from slipping from his grip he sped up a little, feeling fatigue set in after an entire day of endless, exhausting deciphering of old manuscripts and stuff.

But that was exactly what he wanted. It had been two weeks since the attack and things seemed to get back to normal. Almost. And he just couldn't forget what he had seen.

The astrologer wanted to drain himself, needed it. He needed to wear himself out so he could fall into his bed and be dead for the world until he would wake up in the wee hours of the morning, before the sun had even risen.

Otherwise he would start thinking.

And he really didn't want to think right now.

Rikugo nodded a greeting to a servant who was walking past him with a torch -- why they were still lighting the corridors with torches although they had internet and computers and electricity beat him -- and continued his walk. He glanced at the scrolls again that were starting to slip once more -- and landed on the floor the very next second, partly unrolling themselves. He swore silently and knelt to retreat the rebellious scripts.

"Rikugo. Let me give you a hand."

He looked up in surprise, smiling his thanks -- and froze the second red eyes widened, reflecting a horrendous mixture of terror and hate.

Byakko.

Obviously the tiger had been in the library, researching something or other and forgetting about time himself. Now he was kneeling on the floor, as white as a sheet, the outstretched hand trembling with fear.

Oh gods... why had it to be him? Rikugo groaned, feeling his own stomach clench. Rising carefully only resulted in Byakko scrambling back, curling into himself and trying to hide within the wall, making little distressed noises and panting. The wide red eyes stared into nothingness.

Rikugo stepped closer.

"Byakko..."

Wrong move, he decided. Byakko yelped in fright and jumped away, as much as his huddled form would allow, then wrapped his arms around his knees.

There was the flickering light of a torch, and Rikugo had never been more glad to see a servant.

"Call for Lord Touda," he snapped, registering how his voice made Byakko shiver violently. "Now!"

° ° °

Byakko lay in his bed, curled up, the black and white tail wound tightly around his slim form. His eyes were staring into nothingness and he was holding on to the pillow like it was a lifeline.

Hands stroking his body.  
"You want it, kitten."

Another shiver and the nausea rose.

Kisses, strokes, caresses... the pain of...

He moaned silently and screwed his eyes shut.

What was going on? Why was he seeing those things, feeling it, remembering it as if it had happened?

Had it happened?

Or maybe not... maybe... No! He could still feel those adult hands on his small body, those whispers in his ears...

More violent images overlapped the prior ones. Violence and blood and pain and... so much!

He hadn't recalled any of it until the moment he had met Rikugo. It had been like flood gates opening, swamping him in this horror. He couldn't stop feeling this, couldn't stop himself from shying away from Rikugo's touch, and even the horror in the astrologer's eyes hadn't helped.

Rikugo... he had... he hadn't, no! Impossible.

But he felt it again and again. As if it had happened yesterday.

Someone entered the room and he felt the strong aura of his lover. Touda had taken to projecting more than normal to alert Byakko to who was approaching.

"Byakko?"

He made a soft little noise and Touda walked around the bed, entering his field of vision.

"It was a nightmare," the serpent said softly.

"It feels real... so real..."

"It wasn't."

Byakko swallowed, feeling tears rise again. It was as if he was suddenly ten years old again, so afraid, so small...

Touda sat down next to him and Byakko instinctively wrapped himself around his lover, holding on tightly. Touda murmured reassurance, but it didn't help. Tears flooded him and he swallowed several times, trying to fight those floodgates.

Rikugo was his friend!

\-- he hurt you, a sinister voice whispered. He raped you, Byakko!

NO! He never would!

\-- are you sure?

Byakko only moaned softly.

He couldn't be sure of anything any more. He knew for a fact that the devil had implanted false memories, that he had twisted his knowledge, had changed reality, but it was so hard to convince himself that those things he remembered were wrong, false, had never happened.

Touda stroked over his head, fingers carding into the thick silver hair. His aura was so strong, it drowned out everything else. There was only Touda and Touda meant safety. Byakko lost himself in the strength of his lover. He didn't care that he was a God, the Protector of the West. He didn't care about reputation or representation. Right now he was just Byakko; and he needed Touda.

* * *

Rikugo had more or less locked himself in the observatory. He didn't leave for anything, not even a meeting, and since there was nothing overly important to discuss, Sohryu had no reason to order him to appear. There was nothing that couldn't be decided by the four Gods, or Sohryu himself.

Genbu watched his student with eagle eyes as Rikugo went through ancient charts, updated them, put them into alphabetical and chronological order. He frowned as the younger shikigami spent night upon night in the observatory, staring at the sky, sleeping little and eating even less.

And he grew even more worried when Rikugo began to sort the old basement archive, a job usually reserved for younger students and aspiring ones. It was Genbu's favorite task to send a promising young shikigami into his basement and have him or her battle the wealth of information on the ancient scrolls. There was no obvious filing system, no immediately visible order, and aside from Rikugo, only Genbu knew where everything was.

For Rikugo to now start putting it into a true order... something very bad had occurred.

Genbu knew what his student had done, that he had been inside Byakko's mind, in the nightmare that the devil had created. He knew Tsuzuki had accompanied him there in the end when Rikugo himself had been unable to help the tiger. Tsuzuki had seen a small fraction of the twisted reality Byakko had lived in, but Rikugo... he had seen a lot more, and whatever it was, it was hurting him just as much as the wind god.

The latest episode of panic and fear had been in Rikugo's presence, Genbu mused as his eyes strayed to the sole figure on the roof of the palace. It was night and Rikugo was watching the stars again, this time not in the observatory.

It had rattled not only Byakko. It had almost shattered Rikugo.

"I wish you would talk to me, my friend," Genbu murmured and walked back into his palace.

He couldn't push Rikugo into talking, only hope that he would come around and open up -- before it, whatever it was, broke him.

° ° °

Everybody understood his need to go away, but Byakko felt weak doing so. It was like running away from a problem and it was the truth. He was running away from Rikugo, from memories triggered by the astrologer's presence or aura, and he was running from confronting those fears.

Nights had been filled with nightmares. He had barely slept after the incident in the library, afraid of what he saw, what he felt, what the devil had done to him. He couldn't trust himself not to run away or worse, attack anyone he now saw as a threat. Touda's protective presence hadn't been enough. Nothing had been.

Byakko needed to be away.

So he had come here.

It was a place he knew, a place he had only good memories of, and something that didn't appear in his memories or dreams. The devil hadn't touched this sacred place, this memory.

The canyon was deep, but not too deep to keep out the sun. It still reached down to where the river meandered, continuing its eternal task of forging its path deeper into the rock. Grass grew in abandon, trees loomed high overhead, and there were all kinds of flowers, bushes and whatnot. Insects buzzed around, there was the sound of birds, and the quiet noise of the water in the background made for a relaxing scene.

Byakko was far from relaxed at the moment as he sat in his fighting form at the shore of the river, gazing into the water. Dull red eyes watched the reflecting surface.  
Why me? he thought desperately. Why me?! Why wasn't I strong enough?

 

Strong enough to fight those hands on him.  
Strong enough to defeat a devil.  
Strong enough to say no.  
Strong enough... just strong enough...

 

He hunched a little, the long tail wrapped tightly around his tiger form.

 

A shinigami beating him. The Protector of the West now bound to a master.  
A small child trapped by a much larger body, hands everywhere.  
A sinister voice whispering to him.  
Kitten...  
You're mine...  
You want it. You're mine.

 

Byakko whimpered.

He should have been stronger, should have been able to defeat...

 

The devil...  
The shinigami...  
Rikugo...

 

Everything ran together, melting into one big chaos that was dragging him down. Even here, in this remote place where nothing could trigger him, the nightmares persevered.

I have to get a handle on this. I can't go on like a frightened cub! I'm the Protector of the West!

But pep talk just didn't do it. He was scared, so very, very scared.

A faint aura touched his senses and rounded ears pricked. Byakko turned his head as the aura approached, growing stronger, identifying itself even from that distance.

It was like déjà vu. It was like being back then, years ago, when a young shinigami had walked into this place, challenging him.

He had lost.

He had gained a master -- and his best friend. He had gained Tsuzuki Asato.

Byakko felt a strong yearning, a pull, to be where Tsuzuki was, to be safe. He had always felt safe with him. Tsuzuki was so powerful and still so gentle, sometimes incredible child-like, simple, but very complicated in turn. Tsuzuki was a riddle, an enigma, and someone he never wanted to lose.

"Byakko," the young man murmured and approached the so much larger tiger.

He mewled a little, fighting down the voice that whispered to him about this being his master, about punishment, about disobedience, and he let Tsuzuki wrap his arms around the furry neck. He was enveloped in an aura that was fiercely protective, that promised him that he would always be completely safe with him, and Byakko felt a deep, rumbling purr insides his chest.

"Tsuzuki, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be. I understand nightmares." There was a dark smile on those smooth features. "Maybe more than anyone. I understand that reality and dreams are easily confused."

"I can feel it happening to me..."

He had yet to talk about the depths of his horror, and he wasn't sure he could ever reveal it to anyone, even his master.

"And it's real, in your mind," Tsuzuki added softly.

He nodded.

Tsuzuki stroked over the sun-warmed fur, his fingers carding through the long mane.

"It will get better. You just need time."

"I can't go back."

Because just being around Rikugo meant nightmares, meant reacting like a frightened child.

Byakko hated his own reaction to a man who had been his teacher once, had been - well, a father figure. He had never told Rikugo that he loved him like a father, but his feelings didn't make it any better. On the contrary. By simply closing his eyes he saw Rikugo, the teacher, mild-mannered and patient around those who were weaker and looked for guidance or simply asked for an advice, but fierce when it came to battle, might it be combat or a battle of wills like with Sohryu. And he saw something else, someone else, someone he feared and hated, someone who had taken advantage of a helpless child, and who in the end had faced said child's wrath.

"I know it's not real," he whispered.

It wasn't. A part of him had felt Rikugo's shock and horror, had realized the astrologer was as rattled to the core as he was. The tiger knew he had to face his friend, his teacher, sooner or later, but right now he'd rather it would be later.

He shuddered, feeling Tsuzuki's reassuring hands, his soothing strokes over his fur.

"I can't go back just yet," he repeated.

"Then we'll stay here for a while."

So simple. Byakko sighed softly, disturbing the dark hair that tickled his nose.

"Thank you."

"You're my friend," Tsuzuki only said.

And that was all that was needed.

Byakko closed his eyes and curled himself around the slender body of his master, feeling the powerful aura embrace him and soothing his frazzled nerves like the gentle touch on his fur, stroking away the tension with each rub, guiding him into a light slumber.

Things weren't perfect, but maybe... one day... they would be.

* * *

Byakko had lost himself in the routine of daily life in GensouKai. He went through his work load, he partook in meetings, and he was firm in his belief that matters were going back to normal -- until the fateful day Sohryu called a full council meeting of all twelve Commanders. It concerned the latest events, the instability of the realms, the resulting problems, and finally Tsuzuki's role and importance. They all knew how important their master was to them, but now he was even more so.

The tiger sat stiffly at the table, listening to Sohryu's report, his statistics, his orders and everything else. Byakko knew how important it was to make sure Tsuzuki was protected as best as possible by the shikigami he commanded, even when they weren't called upon to aide in a battle, but part of him couldn't suppress the panic that was creeping up his spine from the sheer proximity of Rikugo.

The astrologer's usual place was left of Byakko. It had always been. He had never had any trouble with it either.

Until...

Until he had started to remember things that were too horrifying to ever reveal to anyone. He hadn't told Touda or Tsuzuki. He didn't plan on telling them either.

Rikugo was calm, a rock in a turbulent sea as always, arguing with Sohryu over some matters, accepting other decisions without batting an eye. It was the Rikugo they knew, but Byakko remembered him as someone different, too.

So the panic crept on. And grew. Multiplied...

His fingers clenched into fists, his aura was pulled tightly around him as if not to provoke the other shikigami in any way, and he refused to look at him.

Byakko prayed for a quick end of the meeting.

 

Touda sat in his customary place, listening to Sohryu detail to the others what he and Touda had worked out over the last days and weeks. He knew the dragon's words inside out, so his attention was drawn again and again to the silver-haired God who was his lover.

Byakko was coiled as tightly as a spring, his eyes were fixed on a spot ahead of him, and he was too pale for Touda's liking.

The moment the meeting was over, Byakko rose and hurried out of the room. Touda frowned, about to follow, then caught Rikugo's pained expression. The astrologer looked just as bad as Byakko, maybe even worse, and he was trembling a little. He hurriedly gathered his papers and disappeared.

Touda found Sohryu frowning, then their eyes met.

Yes, something was wrong. He didn't need to hear it to know the truth. Something between Rikugo and Byakko.

Not that his lover would talk to him about it. He was keeping silent about that particular problem, and it was a problem.

What is going on? Touda thought darkly.

° ° °

The council meeting had been the last straw to break the camel's back. In this case, the back had been Rikugo's.

Sitting in the observatory, eyes closed, he pushed the balls of his hands into his eyes, breathing hard. Rikugo had never felt such fear in a shikigami, such loathing and hatred and anger and aggression, than in Byakko. It was all colliding in a volatile mixture.

The meeting had been barely over when the young tiger had literally fled the room, and Rikugo had done the same. He could still feel the panic in the other, as they had sat side by side, listening to Sohryu. In the beginning he had been able to lose himself in his arguments and counterpoints to Sohryu's topics, but when matters had settled and they had changed over to another topic, Rikugo had been hard pressed to ignore Byakko any longer.

He fears me. He loathes me. He truly believes I did this to him! Why?

Had he ever made the child feel unwell? Had Byakko felt threatened? Molested? Had he wanted to run and come back because Rikugo was his elder, a teacher, and something of a guardian?

If yes...

The tall figure shuddered and nausea rose inside him. He wanted nothing more than to forget it all, help Byakko erase those memories, but what if the devil had worked with actual fears? What if this twisted version of the truth stemmed from true feelings?

No... he begged. Please, no... it couldn't be...

What if it is?

It was too much.

Rikugo jumped up and barely made it into the bathroom before he had to throw up.

Shaking, feeling so sick and tired, he sank down the ornate wall.

What if Byakko had always felt like this? What if he had pushed those thoughts and fears aside, to live normally with Rikugo's presence, and the devil had unearthed them?

His arms wrapped around his stomach, cramps hitting him. He wanted to throw up again, but there were only dry heaves.

No... no, no, no... I never... I wouldn't ever... I only felt for a student of mine once in all my life, and that was brief. And he wasn't a child. He was a young man.

Rikugo almost started to hyperventilate.

It was as if the devil had known about it, twisting something personal.

Did I ever give Byakko reason to feel unwell in my presence? Did I ever get too close? Did I... did he feel like this? Was he afraid of me?

Closing his eyes, he stayed in the private bathroom for a long, long time.

Something had to be done. He had a decision to make, and he knew it wouldn't be pleasant.

°

Not far away in the palace, another one was aware of what was going on. Genbu didn't have all the facts. He didn't know the reason behind Byakko's strange behavior, only that it had to do with the possession. Some nightmares that still lingered.

And it had to do with Rikugo.

The old God pursed his lips and stroked over his long beard.

His student was suffering greatly from this, just like Byakko, and he was falling apart.

Something would have to give soon.

Something would break, and he feared it was Rikugo.

° ° °

He was watching from afar. In a private room, away from interference. This was his inner sanctum, a place where no servants dared to come. Ever. It was his refuge, his study, his entertainment chamber, and the window into a world no one knew he had access to.

He watched and he waited, and lately he had found himself cursing softly under his breath.

"Failed, hm?"

The voice was cool, filled with mockery, a little gloating, and he gave it only a cursory attention.

He hadn't failed. His plan just needed to be adapted. There had been too many variables and while some experiments had yielded the expected results, those experiments had also run out of control in some stages.

"It's all going according to plan," he murmured.

A chuckle. "Really? I doubt it. You made mistakes, didn't have all the facts, and you handled it like an amateur."

He turned, looking at the other presence with him, an equally cold smile on his lips.

"Why don't you let a professional handle this?" the other asked. "Isn't that why you keep me around?"

"Professional?" he echoed. "You failed before, my pet."

"No, I merely had setbacks. You never had all the information, despite knowing Tsuzuki so perfectly well. I gave you what you wanted and you couldn't make it work."

"But you could."

Silky laughter was his answer.

The eternally beautiful figure glided closer. "Tell me then."

 

To be continued in Phoenix


End file.
